Book Review 'Outliers' by Malcolm Gladwell

This review was written on 2/9/2011 on paper, and I type and post it online today.

Once time I talked with Ann You in church, she said anyone devoted 10000 hours in doing one thing, he/she must be successful. This idea is from a book 'Outliers'. At that time I was really unhappy and felt frustrated about myself. Wasting a lot of time everyday, cannot get things done one time, never accomplish my plan. I am becoming soft even without noticing that. I really need a book to inspire me and told me what & how the successful people was doing when they were not that successful. 'Outliers' is that book. It describes the successful people from a very special perspective. After reading this book, my view point of "success" change sharply.

1. Opportunity:

Every example in this book had a unique opportunity to success. Bill Gates had a chance to use the most advanced computer when he was in high school and a chance to program for a company and have a rich mom to support and find a bug in the computer lab to unlimitedly use computer in U of Washington. And the hockey players example showed even the birth date could be an opportunity. I learned everyone has and needs opportunities to success. Grab the opportunity, take a small advantage at the very beginning, it will accumulate to be a huge success at last. People catch the first opportunity, will have a high chance to take the second one, again and again. One verse in Bible says "For unto everyone that hath shall be given and he shall have abundance. But from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath" -- Matthew 25:29.

For myself, I realize that I am in one of the biggest opportunities in my life. I am now at USA, a free country and has a relatively fair chance to success by hard working. I am in a university, which is not too famous but still a very good one and have access to the front line in my major. I feel my experience will help me a lot sooner or later. Not everyone has chances to consult and to teach. Thank you so much Dr. Di Pierro. And Linlin is so nice to me and we are living together. I don't have to worry about her. And we won't be separate anymore. The most important, I became the son of God. He will lead me along the way. See. I have no excuses to not success. What I am supposed to do is do my best to learn knowledge, to equip myself with knowledge and real experience. 

2. 10000 hours and hard work:

Everyone needs hard working to be successful. No one becomes success by accident; even though they looks easy. From the first time Bill Joy started to program to he becomes famous in silicon valley, it is about 10000 hours. Bill Gates is the same, from a ordinary people to be famous, 10000 hours. The music band "the Beatles", before they became famous in the U.S., they had 10000 hours real performing experiences on the stage.

Dr. Wuwei Shen told me last Friday night in the church. "If you want to be successful, you must devote a lot of time in it, cannot stay on the surface", which is consistent with the 10000 hours rules. America gives me a fair chance to success by hard work. I need to work hard.

Recently, I feel I am not that young, I really have no time to waste. I must work as hard as possible nad grab the chance in the university to equip myself to find a good job and stay in US. Further more, to do sth can change the world.

3. Legacy

Admit or not, we have sth in the body which is the legacy from my parents or grand parents or the culture from the region I grew up. That could explain why people from southest could work hard to be rich and can be away from home for long time. That is from culture, it is legacy. 

I grew up in northeast of China, where people are brave and frank and honest. These are good. However, people in my home region also like talking big thing, but not taking them into action, and most of people do not want to success by work hard.

I must be aware of those downsides from the legacy. I must act act act, talking less, acting more, working hard, no delay, no excuses, and use time efficiently.

Summary

<Outliers> is the book that comes just on time, remind me to work hard, to notice the legacy and to grab the opportunities. More importantly, it makes me to realize the real situation I am actually in. I do not to be soft even when I am not starting my life journey. Work hard, grab the opportunities.

Don't forget my definition of success: Have a sweet and happy family and decent money.

又吵架了，新的感受

今天和琳琳吵架了，这是好久好久之后才有的一次吵架。前几天琳琳还说好久没有和我吵架了，结果今天就吵了。真不能念叨阿。

原因有几个：

1. 在别人面前没和她站在一起，总是反对她的话。
2. 在别人面前说她花钱多。
3. 给她阴影，哪怕几块钱都不敢花了。

我错了，做的不对。确实没有站在她的角度考虑她的感受。她就那么点爱好，我还总阻止，并且她自己已经可以非常好的来判断该不该花。我对于有琳琳这样对生活很爱好很懂得享受的太太真的很幸福很感恩。干嘛总用自己的要求来要求她？还有我要尊重她，和她站在一起，别越是在外人面前越想反驳她，要尊重她的感受与想法，如果我有不同想法，就温柔的说出来，不要职责。

好了，以上都是以前的感受，今天又重复了一遍。下面是新的感受。

1. 琳琳被神改变了，有了巨大的进步。她没有像以前一样任凭自己的情绪爆发。我能感觉到她一直在控制自己的情绪，并尝试不去和我生气。我很感恩。

2. 我被神改变了。我从始至终都没有生气，心平气和的说话。并且我没有下意识的去反驳，为自己找理由去狡辩。我觉得错了，我就说我错了，对不起。有一些话我觉得说出去自己很爽，但是会把话题带到更坏的地方或者会是琳琳更生气，我会选择不说。并且我会在心里祷告，让神引导我们。

3. 还是犯了错误。在好不容易找到一点有理的地方时，一再坚持，最终导致吵架爆发。

结论：
错就是错了，就要认错，认识清楚了就要改正。和琳琳吵架，不容易找到理。有理的时候千万别坚持。最后要哄。

给妈妈的信

亲爱的妈妈，

我和琳琳衷心祝您60岁生日快乐！身体健康！

琳琳特意选的相册，亲手设计制作每一页纸。她花了很多心血在这个相册上，希望您喜欢。

儿子第一次给您写信，不知从何说起。从04年开始，儿子离家已10年。从19岁到29岁，从期望早点离家独立到时常想要回家，从天天在家到现在几年也回不去一次，从独身一人到长大成家。

儿子从上大学、出国、结婚、准备要孩子中，已经成熟很多，同时也体会到您作为母亲的伟大。头脑中依然很清楚记得很多场景，虽然遥远但又清晰。我小时候偷抽屉里一打一打一分两分的钱时，您拿着扫帚教训我；在儿童公园下山时，我一定要拉着您快跑，结果您膝盖摔破流血一大片，在家忍痛擦紫药水；来客人吃饭时我偷偷把凳子撤走，害您摔了一个大屁蹲；家里被偷那天晚上你穿着深红色毛衣，依然骑着自行车送我去打乒乓球；在吃炭火锅庆祝我被人大录取时，您激动的擦拭着泪水；脚踝被车撞坏，怕我担心不告诉我；在机场送我出国时的不舍。

现在回想起来，正是您和我爸这样的爱我们，做我们的榜样，给我和我姐安全健康的成长环境，营造一个健全的家庭，才会有现在身体和性格上都很健全的我。我非常感恩您和我爸爸这样的养育教育我们。在外面看了很多的人和事，深深体会到一个健全的、充满爱的家庭，对一个人的成长是多么的重要。

感谢您和我爸一直相守三十多年不离不弃。儿子知道婚礼是一天的事，而婚姻是一辈子的事情。婚姻不容易。您和我爸一同经历过高山低谷，依然相亲相爱、忠诚如一，实在是可敬。我爸儿时成长环境破碎艰苦，性格和脾气上难免有阴影，我想只有您这样乐观，大大咧咧的性格才能够包容他。（这句不能让我爸看到）

也许您和我爸一直都不理解我为何出国后转信了基督教。儿子从小跟随姥姥信佛，改变信仰对我来讲实在困难。我是经过慎重考虑，也真实感受到了两个信仰的不同，才做的决定。从小以来我们就是求佛祖按我们的方式保佑要做的事情，仔细想想真的不知道谁是主人谁是仆人。如果说佛祖显灵会保佑我们某些事情，那么信仰上帝是改变了我的生命。我感觉佛祖都是离我距离很远并生怕得罪它，但是上帝却时时的与我一起让我感受到爱。上帝通过圣经让我知道什么是对和错，而不是按照现在这个扭曲社会的规则。我和琳琳都被上帝改变了很多，平日生活中更多的互相理解与关心，我们的婚姻很幸福。我因为按照圣经的教导来工作，也大大得到别人的赏识。虽然我们的前途依然不确定，但是我们心里有平安喜乐，因着上帝我们丝毫不担心。当您和我说我姐姐得产后抑郁症的时候，我听了之后真的想把我心所有的平安喜乐也介绍给我姐姐。

三言两语，儿子不能把感受说的十分清楚。望以后见面好好聊。请您相信，儿子这个决定是很严肃做出来的。希望您和我爸爸也能打开心扉，来了解了解。

人生如梦，转眼花甲。您儿女双全，都成家并孝敬，有丈夫深爱着，身体尚算健康，每天跳舞麻将，您真可谓是有福气之人。

儿子和儿媳祝您和我爸爸拥有更加丰盛的生命，有平安喜乐常在心中！

爱您，儿昊来，儿媳琳琳

转载： Be Like Han: 7 life Lesson from Han Solo

This article is from my favorite website: Sparring Mind.

The original address: http://www.sparringmind.com/be-like-han/

1.) Don’t let people tell you the odds.

Sometimes, the odds are going to be stacked against you.

Sometimes, you’ll have a 3720:1 chance of navigating an asteroid field, but you just have to do it.

The “odds” should only stop you from from things you can’t influence (like obsessively playing lottery tickets), they shouldn’t be a dictator for the goals you wish to accomplish.

Take it from the inventor of the first computer:

“That’s the problem with a lot of people”, he continued, “they don’t try to do stuff that’s never been done before, so they never do anything, but if they try to do it, they find out there’s lots of things they can do that have never been done before.”

2.) Shoot first.

Are you really going to wait for Greedo to make the first move?

Life doesn’t begin “when you’re ready” because it’s going on all the time. There’s no rehearsal, and there is no second act.

Don’t wait until tomorrow, don’t start when you feel comfortable, and don’t delay going after what you want, because eventually, it’ll be too late.

3.) Don’t be afraid to say, “I know.”

Be confident. Walk around like you know what you’re doing, even when you doubt yourself (everyone does from time-to-time).

Still scared? Fake it until you make it: there’s no better way to be the person you want to be than by acting like it from the get go.

Don’t underestimate the importance of confidence, courage, and a genuine belief in yourself:

Courage is rightly esteemed the first of human qualities, because it is the quality which guarantees all others.

You’re not the person inside your head, and without the confidence to act, you’ll be too afraid to do anything.

Fun fact: Originally it was intended for Han to reply to Leia with “I love you too,” but Harrison Ford thought it didn’t fit with Han’s character, so he ad-libbed it instead.

George Lucas actually disliked the line! Ford fought to keep the line in, and eventually it was allowed — now remembered forever as one of Han’s best moments.

Even Han’s actor sticks to his convictions!

4.) Things going bad? “Situation normal.”

Things go bad sometimes; keep your cool.

Your biggest accomplishments and best habits will take weeks, months and years to form, yet many can be ruined far more quickly.

In a behavioral study on dieting, researchers found that the biggest roadblock was the first time things went wrong: people are very susceptible to “abandoning ship” whenever something doesn’t go their way.

Don’t be like them.

At the same time, know when to cut your losses; sometimes it’s best to just shoot out the intercom and move on.

5.) Don’t let kids get cocky.

Most people doing something worth doing will run into “haters” at some point… it’s best to ignore them.

Sometimes though, you have to put people in their place.

Pick your battles, but understand that there are people out there who will take a mile if you give them an inch.

Don’t let em’ hold any sort of power over you.

6.) Go for the straight fight. No sneaking around.

Han can be persuaded to rely on “tricks” when the situation calls for it, but by and large he sticks to being a straight shooter.

You should too: in a modern society obsessed with “hacks” and shortcuts, we often end up missing the forest for the trees.

Tackle things head on first. You’ll often find that the simplest solution yields the greatest results.

7.) Fly casual.

Don’t get jittery, Luke. There are a lot of command ships… err, opportunities out there.

Take it easy from time-to-time.

Sometimes the best way to get what you want is keep it casual: over-thinking situations and getting burned out from stress do more to hinder you than to push you forward.

Last but not least…

If there’s one last lesson Han has taught me that’s a bit transcendent of the other advice, it would be this…

Always come back for the people you care about.

每天都写点啥

昨天看到一篇博客，是我很喜欢看，每一次他更新我都会好好看一看的。昨天的题目是 《Psychological benefits of writing》。原来经常写东西会让你更快乐，更好的思想和交流，思维更敏锐，更有感恩的心，让头脑减少更多的负担。

这个博客特别的地方就是作者的每一篇文章，都是有很多科学研究的证据的，而不是象我这样夸夸而谈，并且题目都是和生活很息息相关的。这也是为什么我喜欢读他的博客的原因。

其实每天想写一点什么，内容我觉得并不难。因为一天当中，总会有点事情引起头脑的思考和感情的波动，当然你需要足够的细腻敏锐。难点是在很困倦很忙碌的时候会不会刻意找时间来写东西。忘记还好，最怕就是没有忘记，在做其他事情的时候经常想起来，但就是没有勇气没有意志力把屁股坐在椅子上开始写。

比如今天，我和琳琳吃过晚饭，随便聊一聊上上网就11点了。我想写一点点论文的东西，但是看到时间很晚了，又有一点点懒惰了。不过我想起来一位很有名的数学家，名字忘记了。他关于时间管理的感想，有一点是要选择合适的结束点。比如我现在对于论文，如果一点都不作的话，明天我就是从零开始，开始整理思路，回想昨天要做什么，会很困难。再加上如果精神状态不好的话，就可能放弃了。但是如果我克服懒惰，即便时间晚了，我只要用15分钟，来给论文要做的事情开个头，把轮子先转起来，这样明天我就接着已经开始的东西继续做就好了。再加上人本来就有一种开始了就不愿意停下来的本性，事情就会相对简单的多。而我今天的15分钟就是很有成效的。

感谢神，我按照我的想法给要做的开了一个头。明天接着弄。

而这正是我今天要写的东西，哈哈一举两得。哦耶！